Happy 80th Grandma...

As I sit here reminiscing and looking through pictures of my childhood, I pick through a few pictures and notice a smile that has always been familiar to me for so many years. Ever since my earliest childhood, I've never forgotten the warmth, the sense of belonging and the great tradition that smile made me feel.

Wonderful grandmothers are known for holding tradition. Amazing grandmothers are there to bring us a sense of belonging, and the warmth a marvelous grandmother brings is unmatched, undeniable and definitely not forgotten.

I have one of those grandmothers, and she is absolutely miraculous in every one of those ways and more.

I remember spending time at my grandmother's house for Christmas, and during the summer and other times of the year as well. Some of the things we did there at Christmas, I still practice during the holiday seasons today. I always felt comfortable and part of a great family when I was around grandma's house. But... there came a time when I couldn't come around anymore and I missed my grandma and I started to forget the sounds, the smells, and the people around grandma's house. It was odd hearing friends talk about their cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents because I couldn't remember all of my family. Except my grandmother was never forgotten. Her smile, her love, her... "How you doing, baby?" were always remembered and cherished. I remember coming back to good ol' Mound Bayou and thinking, where's my grandma, I gotta see her. Nothing made me feel like I belonged there like my grandmother. The love and warmth from you grandma always reminded me of the wonderful family I and my children are a part of. My understanding of the importance of family started with you, and my memories of the warmth I always felt will always be memorialized.

Now there are certain ways about my life and all of our lives that are deeply rooted from the upbringing and love from our grandmother and grandfather, to some of you, your mother and father, and of course, sister and brother to others. Anyone who knows a Thompson, understands that there is a "Thompson way" about how things are done. The Thompson sons were raised in a particular way and they have instilled a lot of those values and morals into their own families and friends alike. This is just how it is and how it always will be thanks to you grandma. Any and all people who have that Thompson blood running through them are inept to the trend setting characteristic, where leading others and marking our own path are regular practices in our lives. That natural ability allows us to make a difference in so many lives and that's why, once we come to understand ourselves, being a follower just does not suit us. So I wanna say thank you grandma. You and grandpa truly did a spectacular job raising your boys.

Grandma, I wish I could have been there, to see that smile and to feel that warmth that made me feel I belonged. 80 years huh? That's a lot of years of influence, a lot of lives touched, a lot of hearts warmed and an unlimited number of traditions, customs, and ways of life motivated. And just know that this one life here is richer and more blessed thanks to you.

I love you, grandma. Thank you for your efficacious,(positive and progressive) impact on my life.Therefore I pray that I can make as many positive differences as possible in my everyday life as a teacher, father, family member and friend; just like you have in my life.

When I'm late...

When I'm late, I contemplate...

Am I slow to get up, or is my day quick to get started?

Is time truly of the essence or have I essentially lost my sense of urgency?

Does it matter how soon I get there because every pace with haste isn't part of a race, right?

Is there someone or anyone waiting for me, expecting me, or wishing I would show up for better or for worse?

The difference I plan on making, will it be short-lived or often recollected?

Is this really for the greater good, or do I just "think" I'm doing great?

Are you sick of all my questions, or do these thoughts ever cross your mind too?

Perhaps, I'll digress and ask... are you just sick of me, and my constant thinking, my regular mind-swirling activities, my "two cents", or just Torry T in general?

I could go on and on about ^that^ but where will it get me... it won't get me you or us or that plus one in my life that truly understands and appreciates me for... well me.

Ah yes, I must progress, I must advance, push on and persist; gotta get back to "winning" right?

Who knows "win" I'll "win" again but I know it's gotta happen soon, honestly, I'm not blowing smoke in the "win" because I've gotta get it back... I mean that's all I used to do.
Thanks... much love... uALREADYknow...

Does love go...

Hey, listen2me quick: There are times in your life when you must negotiate your thoughts of norm in terms of things you deem essential... there must be a split for others to realize it. There's a need for separation, to get that appreciation. There has to be distance, so that you can miss it. Perhaps they have to be away before you realize that's yo' "ba-bay."

I've heard absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, I believe absence brings about that silence - no conversation, no laughter and no snuggling, nor make-up sex after. It makes you wonder, if you're not there, do they even care? Does it become out of sight, out of mind? And you ponder if you're wasting your time.

If there's a mutual understanding to step away, does that mean the mutual feelings are truly reciprocated?

Are we doomed to be consumed by our emotions of being apart, being away, and being half of our whole?

Are we called fools for falling in love, or fools for holding on to something not yours?

Do we become possessive or obsessive? Is it right or do we even have that right to be either? Is that even progressive? How can we move forward if we are trying to control those feelings of love? How can we even think to control the ones we love? It's not mine, it's not yours, it can't be owned or put on hold?

They say, "let's take a break." What???!!!??? You can't break love, it doesn't tire, it doesn't eat or sleep, nor give up on you next week. Real love isn't lost or conjured up. You can't create love, no more than you can destroy love... if it's real. That's why, they have other words like... infatuated with, lust, like, attracted to, drawn by, fascinated with, turned on by or even smitten. There's tons of others, so stop abusing the word and using it as an excuse or reason.

Let it grow, and let it show because some people's words don't mean the same as mine, or yours or that guy over there checking you out. Just remember you can't control love, and when you finally feel it, you will know the real from the rest and that feeling is the BEST.

So I shall no longer digress and remind you that love may be blind, but when it's real, it's one of a kind. And if you try to control it, fake it or break it, you'll actually find unsuccessfulness. (<---- not used correctly, I know, but you know what I mean.) So when it's time for "that break" remember that the real love doesn't dissipate, and it will definitely await... it's true calling. No substitutes, no replacements and nothing forced nor forged will suffice.

So therefore, you can play all day, and have standins in the way, but ain't nothing like the "real" thing baby. You already know... so let things be how they are going to be. Don't fight the feeling because I mean how can you love if you've never let it go, right?